Women are funny creatures if you’re a man – a living, breathing contradiction. Most want the security, financial stability, manners and chivalry that come from being an upstanding member of society but also yearn for a bad boy to treat them wrong in all the right ways. Men simply aren’t built that way. Most of us are either responsible, hardworking and thoughtful or unmitigatedly selfish 24/7. Selfish, believe it or not, tends to work in the bedroom.
Rare is the woman who wants you to truly consider her feelings when it comes to sex. Many women would protest this comment on principle, but many more would avoid the subject altogether because their fantasies consist of being treated with little consideration. I’m not talking about rough sex, but rather inconsiderate sex, and there may be some truth to better lovers being those who think of themselves first.
Men who worry about how to please their partners often fail to do so. Why? Because you can’t worry about what she wants and have a good time. If you’re not having a good time, there’s a better than average chance she won’t be having one either. When the act of sex becomes work, it loses its appeal. Feeling sexual may be natural, but it’s also next to impossible when you’re devoting your mental energy to something that has nothing to do with your own pleasure.
Of course, there’s no substitute for understanding the general commonalities among women when it comes to erogenous zones, touching and bedroom etiquette (yes, believe it or not there is such a thing), nor is there any substitute for knowing that all women are different. If you can be a reasonably good lover by second nature and quickly ascertain what does and doesn’t work for your partner, you’re halfway there.
The other half is letting go. Let go of your need to be attentive to her every need. Foreplay is her time but coitus is yours. Do as you would naturally and there’s a very good chance she’ll respond in kind. Worry about where you touch, where you place your hands, changing positions and what feels the best to her and you’re likely to bore her to death or turn her off. Women want to see that their partner is excited to be with them, so do what comes naturally to you and be excited by being selfish. If she does the same, everything will happen the way it should and neither partner will be left wanting.
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